Life sucks and then you die (or how I joined a sitcom and never looked back in anger)

What up mofos??? It IS most certainly UP in ma hood at this very mo – most mo’s to be fair.

Or perhaps not so UP at this particular very mo. Have to admit it has indeed been a thoroughly painful eve fo this lil’ gangsta. Holy crap (YES. Let’s bring holy religion to the table at this latish hour. Or not.). NO RELIGION. I agree to agree with yo scheweet-ass-self on this one.
Yep. NO religion. It’s no fun. (unless it’s Bad Religion – neva get sick of that ultra-special-high-quality-shit. Epic fiesta-FUN material all day every day).

Kinda sucks how ma beloved boyzzz lost (quite fairly) tonite. NOT a fan of that, honestly speaking.

Ima ’bout this impressed…

Gah gah gah gah gah gah. GAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.

Gah gah gah gah gah gah.

So let’s not speak honestly anymore, kinda boring shit. And not very gangsta. Let’s get excited, let’s have FUN. So what’s FUN? I reckon being a gangsta moviestar is fun.

And what do gangstas do when they wanna have fun and be gangsta-moviestars? And make some sorta statement ’bout da riddicko title-obsessed world we live in? Correct answer would be they create their own dreamish gangsta-fun-title-criticizin’ reality… (or they just smoke shit, but hey – why not do both?).

So ya, that’s what ellagangsta did (apart from referring to herself in 3rd person (which could be considered lame… but not if yo is ellaGANGSTA) ).

YO is indeed a very lucky lil’ wannabe-fun-ass-lovin’-criminal-gangsta… one could say it’s yo lucky day! You get to check this shit OUT.

Check it OUT.

Pretty please lemme know if yo didn’t laugh yo lazy ass OFF – and I’ll refer yo to some sorta lame ass helpline. Back to da honest track again; hope it won’t come to that. And if it does – DO ASK SOMEONE ELSE FO SOME SORTA ASSISTANCE.

Cannot save yo lame ass soul on this one. Not today. So fo everyone’s best well-beingish state of mind, let’s just hope yo enjoy this fine piece of A(ss)rt.

Gonna head back to ma ultra-exciting life now, pinky promise it won’t be too long till ima back. Stay tuned beloved mofos.


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How does the universe work (or what Morgan Freeman said)

So, even us gangstas ask ourselves big existential questions like this from time to time. It’s not all bout boats’n hoes in da hood. A hood life is still a life, and therefore this shit occasionally goes down in our heads. We also ponder about things such as how did we get here? How did we end up in da hood? Good questions. Indeed. But also. Truth be told. Sometimes it’s just easier to put something in yo mouth, something that makes yo gangsta ass think less bout these things. Slippery slope perhaps. But yup, kinda how it rolls. Anyhoo, turns out a bro can help us all OUT. Check out Morgan Freeman’s shit, it’s heavy, but it’s good. Ze shit, as ze Germans would say.

On a diffo note, I partied in a hospital yesterday. And also, this girl can RAP. LÖÖÖVES it. Peace OUT! I continue carrying on ma ultra-exciting life. Stay tuned.

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SLASHING IT (or how i’ma right now sharing a smile, some childhood memories AND ma fav song with y’all)

She’s got a smile that it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Where everything
Was as fresh as the bright blue sky
Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that
special place
And if I stared too long
I’d probably break down and cry

Sweet child o’ mine
Sweet love of mine

She’s got eyes of the bluest skies
As if they thought of rain
I hate to look into those eyes
And see an ounce of pain
Her hair reminds me
of a warm safe place
Where as a child I’d hide
And pray for the thunder
And the rain
To quietly pass me by

Sweet child o’ mine
Sweet love of mine

Where do we go
Where do we go now
Where do we go
Sweet child o’ mine

(I was considering doing something with this. As in something funny or provocative etc. But nope. No one can mess with this shit. Not even ellagangsta. Too good to be true right there. I could live of Slashs’ solo in dat one fo a long long time. Where do we go now?).

I always have an ultra-exciting life. Stay tuned.

Something white & sticky all ova ma face (or how us single girls entertain ourselves on a Monday nite)

YES. I did a facial tonight. It felt good. Not good in the way the title of today’s post may suggest, but still good. And now ma face is ultra smooth. Clean, soft, fresh and the opposite to dry. Clean and dry and white is apparently how our intimate parts are supposed to be these days though. Read this article today, and watched the vid. What can I say… FUCKED UP. Leave our cunts alone. Literally. Pretty full on, harsh words, but seriously – WTF? This sorta shit just makes me tired, which in this instance is good, cause I need to sleep, but still. This is just absurd, and I really do hope all the lovely ladies out there, especially the ones who are the target market for this campaign, don’t buy into this absolute massive epic BS galore.

Not much more to add to this. On a good note; Ima gonna go to bed in clean sheets tonite, which is gonna feel great on ma, soon to be black skin… that’s right mothafuckas! I’m going overseas next week! My life is indeed ultra-exciting. Stay tuned…!!!!!

Oh, and here’s the article… (don’t wanna promote it TOO much, cause it’s way betta than ma blog, and that shit hurts).

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