Tag Archives: pornhub

Make sure yo wash yo hands before yo play with da pussy (or how Coolio sets da record straitUP)

GangstaMouth

Yo yo yo yooooo – what up bitches? All good in ma hood!

Ze questión of da day is – did yo wash yo hands today? Cause our good bro CooliO gotsa some words to say ’bout dat one. No surprises there as I like to say, although, on this one… yeyo, lil’ bit surprising to say da least.

As yo all know I’ve touched (ON) (I WISH) Coolio before. He’s a very fascinatin’ character to say da least. Ima sure all of yo remember ma biographic version of “Gangsta’s Paradise” a while back, quite epic, if I may say so maself.

Anyhoo, this amazo gangsta dude is naturally at it AGAIN – PORNHUB is da context. So ya, lemme keep it short. Or. Hmmm. I’m not a man of a few words. FACT times 2:

1. I’m not a man

2. I very rarely use, what one would refer to as “few words”

But ya, will try to not go on and on and on like some sorta shitty over-produced BS song.

Ima gonna begin with a quote, (I’ve noticed most of yos don’t click on ma links, and this article is priceless to say da least, so ya, fo all yo lazy ass gangstas outta there, I’ll try to give yos da best quotes here – BUT still SO worth it to read da whole thang ):

“If I want to see porn, I’ll put a mirror next to my bed,” said no one ever proudly. Apart from Coolio that is. This man is a MACHINE of self destruction. Quite successfully so.

Apparently da wordzzz on da streeetzzz was dat Mr Coolers himself had signed a deal with da Porn-to-da-hub (IMAGINE DAT DEAL!!!!!). But to quote da man himself, “Man, I ain’t trying to make no fuckin’ comeback off some porn.”

CLEARLY. (right there, to yo left, is yo chance to watch this machine and his new vid, apparently he “saw a pussy & a titty” – he’s on FIRE!!!)

Anyhoo, story goes on with him pretty much denying every-FUCKIN’-thang, and bein’ all coolers with himself, sayin’ shit like: “I’m as good as anybody out there lyrically and conceptually and can go toe to toe with the best of them throughout history.” (*debatable).

Anotha fav quote:
“I don’t know where that came from. If they pay me enough money, fuck yeah, I’ll do an album exclusively for Pornhub. At this point in my career, bro, I don’t have nothing to prove to nobody. I’ve proved everything. I just have to prove some shit to my banker. I have to prove to that motherfucker I can put more zeroes in my account”.

Meanwhile in da same fuckin’ interview he says:
I’m never doing a new album.

So ya, Coolio is clearly sendin’ out some mixed messages outta there… FTWWW I guess? Ma guess’s as good as anyone’s I guess (see what ima doin’ here – it makes NO sense what so eva).

But just when yo thought things could not possibly get mo fucked up, vague, and yep. Just go in some sorta wrongish direction… he gives us an explicit insite to how he’s gettin’ old, and his take on da role as a father of his 3 daughters:

“Make sure you wash your hands/Before youuuuuu/Play with the pussy/Play with the pussy/Play play play/Play with the pussy.”] “I have three daughters and I told them if a guy does not wash his hands before he touches you, then he don’t respect you. It’s funny, but it’s also the truth“.

Thank yo for sharin’ da truth with us Mr Coolio. And to all ya dudes outta there, who’s plannin’ a move on Mr Coolers daughters. Wash those hands. Now, during and after (just to be safe).

Gonna go spend some time with ma gangsta mouth now. Ultra excitin’ fo sho. How I roll. Peace OUT and stay tuned FFS.

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Time flies when yo is havin’ fun (or how porn and analytics go hand in hand)

So, I was gonna post this amaze version of a song, performed by this amazing woman… but didn’t get the rights to it, so ya, now I simply cannot doit. Sucks bt. Kinda goes pretty well with da way Ima feelin’ right now. Seems like it was only a couple of days ago I was in Maroc, happily workin’ on ma blog, fez on like a champ, in da sun… (image attached to prove it actually happened… Ok, perhaps I was lookin’ at a map in this particular instance, but isn’t it nice to imagine I was writing ma blog? I say YES, and it’s my blog, so my imagination rules right now).
Image
But ya, feels like a lifetime ago. Guess it’s true, stuff yo hear through da grapevine… time does fly when yo is havin’ fun. BUT, Ima firm believer of creating yo own happiness whereeva yo is rollin’. This is why Ima now turnin’ to porn. And naturally analytics, (kinda heaven and hell for me… I do have a massive weak spot for analytics). Here we go.

So, there is a site called Pornhub, (not an in-yo-face-name at all, kinda like actual porn), and this site has a lot of traffic, apparently something ’round a billion/month. So kinda big deal in da porn world, and kinda big in da world full stop. Let’s face it, porn clearly gets da peeps goin’, whether yo like it or not. Anyhoo, this site is getting’ with da times, and have started to analyse its visitors and their behaviour, AND how worldwide action is impacting these porn addicts, and their consumption of their drug of choice. It’s kinda interesting, albeit brief. Anyhoo, I’ll let you read the article, anything else would be considered plagiarism.

All this porn-talk made me reflect over da fact that this is the first time Ima bloggin’ in bed… so guess da only appropriate question is: Guess what Ima wearing right now?

Well, since Ima still in Sweden, da appropriate answer would be layers and layers and layers… which is, come to think of it, the true definition of HOT. Yup, I won’t be cold tonite. Now, go back to yo porn, Ima gonna keep at ma ultra-exciting life. Stay tuned.

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