Tag Archives: marrakech

Think twice! (or how divorce is a biatch)

ellagangstaextensions

So, it’s been a bit quiet in ma hood last couple of days, well, perhaps not quiet, quite the opposite come to think of it. Quiet or not, shit is going down right now, consisting of me currently being in the process of processing 9 fucking divorces, (hope you remember the 9 marriages I managed to lock in, in the space of less than 24 hours, when I was in Marrakech). As if one would not be enough – of course I need to go and multiply that with 9…. PROCESS that mf’s! Yup, to say it’s a shit fight and a half is probs the understatement of a life time (I’ve attached an image to illustrate the way I feel on the inside right now)… anyhoo, it’s coming along ok I guess. Only prob is that ma fav, soon-to-be-ex, husband –the one I’ve mentioned previously, the 16 year old – is more of a complicated process, than da normal divorce process. Even though he said it’s ok for us to marry, despite his age, it turns out Ima not only his wife, but I’ve also become his legal guardian. Don’t ask me how I ended up in this situation, it was very hard to keep track of all these men and marriages at da time, so of course it’s easy to overlook the small print, so to speak, or in this case, quite literally. Today I’ve been using the Internet to communicate with his grandfather, two of his aunties, his older sister, three of his uncles and also a woman who’s close to da fam and specializes in henna applications… his mum refuses to speak to me. Not to be like that, but feel like she’s being a bit of a bitch about it all. But guess, it’s her youngest son, and it was his first marriage, and now his crying… so guess I’m not her fav person in da universe. But it’s not as if I don’t have feelings too, so I do feel she’s being a bit unfair to say the least. Who could’ve guessed this would end in misery… ?

But ya, main problem is the legal guardian situation, basically the ML, (Moroccan Law), states quite clearly, that in cases when women marry boys who are under the age of 18, they will become something called a legal guardian wife, and a legal guardian wife, will, in cases of divorce, still be responsible for the boy in question’s affairs. This is not to mixed up with sexual affairs, it’s more a case of bein’ lawfully invested with a bunch of power, camels and other debatable items, as well as charged with shitloads of obligations. Far from ideal. But let’s see, if there’s a will there’s a way, and I’m sure the both of us will be free from these obligations, powers etc in no time FTWWW, (while, of course, avoiding hurting any animals in da process) !!!

Hmm, apart from that, I do have some huge news. One of ma lifetime struggles have finally paid off and I’ve now advanced from bein’ a terrible at poker to bein’ awesome at poker!!! These are very exciting times indeed and I’m extra pumped bout this one. Last nite I met two girls in a club, we hit it off, and they joined me out to one of Stocker’s most extreme hoods, where we went to play poker with some gangstas I know through some shady relations I’ve pursued in da past. Anyways, rest is history, let’s just say our wins paid for the late nite gyros we consumed after the game, and more!

This ultra-exciting life is mine fo life! Stay tuned.

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How to put the V into da I and da P (or why I’m too high to go to sleep)

How to put the V into da I and da P (or why I’m too high to go to sleep)

So, on our last nite, in what we now refer to as “da Kesh”, we went OUT to a club, where a sista from anotha mista used to work (sista from anotha mista is similar to something I’ve described in an earlier post. You just replace brotha with sista, and motha with mista. If you don’t quite get it, I suggest you re-read – naturally assuming yo non-lazy ass already read it – the post I’m referring to, it’s called “Goodbye my almost lover”, and it’s really good). Anyhoo, out we went, and naturally we had a blast. Since my almost lover G used to work there, they took really good care of our harem and us, and we enjoyed some serious VIP boozing and met some new homies. Good times fo sho.

Had a pretty coolio last day too, and managed to find a dealer who sold us our drug of choice, (bein’ da most gangsta of ’em all; sweets/lollies/candy), so we were pretty set when we headed on over back to Stockers… however, by the end of da flight, we’re all feeling ultra-sick, due to our riddicko consumption of lollies, and now I’m so high from all the sugar and cannot sleep. Epic fail indeed. BUT, it did taste pretty good, so c’est la vie on dat one.

Anyhoo, back in Stockers now, very much a short’n sweet sorta trip-thang to do, but we mos deffo had a blast, so all good in da hood right now. Will have to go back to take care of ma husbands pretty soon, can’t wait fo da youngest one to grow up, and be the man I know he already is, (yup, his mos def ma fav hubbie at da mo). Infinite ultra-exciting life galore. Stay tuned.

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I was gonna write about anti-rape and Sacha Baron Cohen (or how Jawed is the most hilare guy eva)

I was gonna write about anti-rape and Sacha Baron Cohen (or how Jawed is the most hilare guy eva)

So yup, this is actually a true story. I was indeed gonna write about above mentioned items… however, there is ONE thing in this world that’s been creating some laughter actions within me, to the point where I laugh till I cry, every time I think of it. And this it IT: (are you ready for some hilare galore mf’s???).

But ya, ok. Jawed Karim, the American (THE) INTERNET entrepreneur of Bangladesh-German origin, a co-founder of YouTube, and also the individual who appears in da first YT vid (seriously no surprises there, BUT surprise is, he’s in da fucking zoo!!!), made a comment on his own vid – 8 years laters!!! CRAY CRAY indeed. And his comment is hilare. As you can see in da image I provided you with (as opposed to “not provided” = bad SEO joke, ma nerdiness is reaching obscure levels here, but it’s ok, cause at least I make ma self laugh on a daily basis) But ya, founder of YouTube, and I quote.. “Why the fuck do I need a Google+ account to comment on a video?” If that is not humor on an advanced level I rest ma case. Probs a lie, I just cannot fathom how anyone could not find this absofuckinglutely hilarious.

Also, I saw a cute guy yesterday. He’s ultra-cool, travelling the world, seems to be supa-funny, smart, lil’ crazy and just easy-goin’/open. I really like him. How did we meet? I was tagged in some post about him discoverin’ Oman. So yeah, he’s havin’ a blast and I’m diggin’ it. Will I eva meet him? Fuck knows. I do real well with da boys. Clearly. But ya, good on him keepin’ it real and lookin’ extra-cute. RESPECT.

As always, I lead an ultra-exciting life. Gotta travel to a place I neva been to before tomoz – Västerås [vɛstərˈoːs] (it’s a town/city in “central Sweden”, close to some shore of something called Mälaren, bout 100 k’s from Stockers (AKA ma hood), anyhoo, good to visit other hoods as always. Ima probs a lil’ bit more pumped bout ma Morocco trip on Thursday, but hey, Västerås could possibly be ze SHIT). Either way, fact remains, ma life is ultra-exciting, and YOU should mos def stay tuned. MASSIVE word on dat one. BL = BIG love, AND I MEAN that.

(also, lil’ tip, if you do find yourself reading ma blog kinda semi-regurlarly, you should do yo’self a fav, and perhaps sometimes click on da photos to see where you’ll end up. May not be da hood yo is expecting…!)

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