Yo yo yo yooooo – what up bitches? All good in ma hood!
Ze questión of da day is – did yo wash yo hands today? Cause our good bro CooliO gotsa some words to say ’bout dat one. No surprises there as I like to say, although, on this one… yeyo, lil’ bit surprising to say da least.
As yo all know I’ve touched (ON) (I WISH) Coolio before. He’s a very fascinatin’ character to say da least. Ima sure all of yo remember ma biographic version of “Gangsta’s Paradise” a while back, quite epic, if I may say so maself.
Anyhoo, this amazo gangsta dude is naturally at it AGAIN – PORNHUB is da context. So ya, lemme keep it short. Or. Hmmm. I’m not a man of a few words. FACT times 2:
1. I’m not a man
2. I very rarely use, what one would refer to as “few words”
But ya, will try to not go on and on and on like some sorta shitty over-produced BS song.
Ima gonna begin with a quote, (I’ve noticed most of yos don’t click on ma links, and this article is priceless to say da least, so ya, fo all yo lazy ass gangstas outta there, I’ll try to give yos da best quotes here – BUT still SO worth it to read da whole thang ):
“If I want to see porn, I’ll put a mirror next to my bed,” said no one ever proudly. Apart from Coolio that is. This man is a MACHINE of self destruction. Quite successfully so.
Apparently da wordzzz on da streeetzzz was dat Mr Coolers himself had signed a deal with da Porn-to-da-hub (IMAGINE DAT DEAL!!!!!). But to quote da man himself, “Man, I ain’t trying to make no fuckin’ comeback off some porn.”
CLEARLY. (right there, to yo left, is yo chance to watch this machine and his new vid, apparently he “saw a pussy & a titty” – he’s on FIRE!!!)
Anyhoo, story goes on with him pretty much denying every-FUCKIN’-thang, and bein’ all coolers with himself, sayin’ shit like: “I’m as good as anybody out there lyrically and conceptually and can go toe to toe with the best of them throughout history.” (*debatable).
Anotha fav quote:
“I don’t know where that came from. If they pay me enough money, fuck yeah, I’ll do an album exclusively for Pornhub. At this point in my career, bro, I don’t have nothing to prove to nobody. I’ve proved everything. I just have to prove some shit to my banker. I have to prove to that motherfucker I can put more zeroes in my account”.
Meanwhile in da same fuckin’ interview he says:
“I’m never doing a new album. “
So ya, Coolio is clearly sendin’ out some mixed messages outta there… FTWWW I guess? Ma guess’s as good as anyone’s I guess (see what ima doin’ here – it makes NO sense what so eva).
But just when yo thought things could not possibly get mo fucked up, vague, and yep. Just go in some sorta wrongish direction… he gives us an explicit insite to how he’s gettin’ old, and his take on da role as a father of his 3 daughters:
“Make sure you wash your hands/Before youuuuuu/Play with the pussy/Play with the pussy/Play play play/Play with the pussy.”] “I have three daughters and I told them if a guy does not wash his hands before he touches you, then he don’t respect you. It’s funny, but it’s also the truth“.
Thank yo for sharin’ da truth with us Mr Coolio. And to all ya dudes outta there, who’s plannin’ a move on Mr Coolers daughters. Wash those hands. Now, during and after (just to be safe).
Gonna go spend some time with ma gangsta mouth now. Ultra excitin’ fo sho. How I roll. Peace OUT and stay tuned FFS.