Tag Archives: ellagangsta life

Life sucks and then you die (or how I joined a sitcom and never looked back in anger)

What up mofos??? It IS most certainly UP in ma hood at this very mo – most mo’s to be fair.

Or perhaps not so UP at this particular very mo. Have to admit it has indeed been a thoroughly painful eve fo this lil’ gangsta. Holy crap (YES. Let’s bring holy religion to the table at this latish hour. Or not.). NO RELIGION. I agree to agree with yo scheweet-ass-self on this one.
Yep. NO religion. It’s no fun. (unless it’s Bad Religion – neva get sick of that ultra-special-high-quality-shit. Epic fiesta-FUN material all day every day).

Kinda sucks how ma beloved boyzzz lost (quite fairly) tonite. NOT a fan of that, honestly speaking.

Ima ’bout this impressed…

Gah gah gah gah gah gah. GAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.

Gah gah gah gah gah gah.
GAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.

So let’s not speak honestly anymore, kinda boring shit. And not very gangsta. Let’s get excited, let’s have FUN. So what’s FUN? I reckon being a gangsta moviestar is fun.

And what do gangstas do when they wanna have fun and be gangsta-moviestars? And make some sorta statement ’bout da riddicko title-obsessed world we live in? Correct answer would be they create their own dreamish gangsta-fun-title-criticizin’ reality… (or they just smoke shit, but hey – why not do both?).

So ya, that’s what ellagangsta did (apart from referring to herself in 3rd person (which could be considered lame… but not if yo is ellaGANGSTA) ).

YO is indeed a very lucky lil’ wannabe-fun-ass-lovin’-criminal-gangsta… one could say it’s yo lucky day! You get to check this shit OUT.

Check it OUT.

Pretty please lemme know if yo didn’t laugh yo lazy ass OFF – and I’ll refer yo to some sorta lame ass helpline. Back to da honest track again; hope it won’t come to that. And if it does – DO ASK SOMEONE ELSE FO SOME SORTA ASSISTANCE.

Cannot save yo lame ass soul on this one. Not today. So fo everyone’s best well-beingish state of mind, let’s just hope yo enjoy this fine piece of A(ss)rt.

Gonna head back to ma ultra-exciting life now, pinky promise it won’t be too long till ima back. Stay tuned beloved mofos.

 

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

Slut (or how all good things come to an end and I predict what’s UP in 2015)

Robust vaginal knitting

So ya, 2014 is slut, (obviously “slut” means end, finished, over, finito in Swedish… Duh), and 2015 has offici-to-da-ally begun. It’s, (no surprises there), already been a blast, involving 27 pieces of amazo sushi in MA MOUTH. So yep, 2015 is looking UP!

And here comes what yo been’ waiting for… Gangsta drum-roll-beat happenin’… ellagangsta’s predictions fo a year that is mos def not (a) slut:

(Unfort I got ma 1st predictión wrong, turns out ma NYE blast kept on keepin’ on a lil longer than humanly possible – sorry ’bout dat!)

1. I predict gangsta-ladies around da world are gonna start knitting through their vaginas. That’s rite! Who would not wanna spend an extensive amount of days (28 for example – or how ’bout all day everyday foreva eva eva eva???) knitting from wool that’s inserted in their vagina??? Let’s face it, if yo ass take a good hard look at a vulva, yo realise it’s just a bit of a body – there’s nothin’ that’s shockin’ or scary, or you know, nothing’s gonna run out and beat yo ass UP.

It’s fairly simple too, stick it UP and pull OUT. It’s a pretty robust area we’re talkin’ ’bout here, so ya, no wokkas on dat 1! If yo keep at it there will also be a couple of special days dat will add that X-tra color to it too (yo is most welcome fo dat tip!) Red is, after all, da color of love.

So ya, let’s spread (PUN INTENDED) some gangsta love and start wovin’ FTWWW. If yo is ready to start knitting through yo vulva, you can watch this clip fo some more instructions and inspiration!

That it’s taken us to 2015 to figure this one out is quite surprising really.

2. Always gotta do a PL prediction, was in fact the only one I got rite last year… not happy bout’ dat one, and will mos def be very happy if ima wrong bout dis one… but yep. Reckon’ groco Chelski will win da Premier League dis year. UGH.

3. Hopful Brewing will keep on keepin’ on makin’ amazo beerios dat I (and everyone else lucky enough to get da honour to try it) love. Apart from perfectin’ ma fav beer Sexytipsy even mo (is DAT EVEN POSSIBLE me wonders???), they’ll also make da world a much better place when they release their soon-to-be-success-and-awesomeness-in-general-deluxe latest additión ellagangsta beer. It’s gonna be some fruitful and nutty flavas in dat one!

4. The gyms will be empty come Feb. #factoflifepresented

5. As fo astro predictions, I can tell yo white ass rite now – all yo dreams will come through in 2015!!! Yep, ima not a deliverererrrer of da bad newzzz in 2015. Epic fiesta and congrats on dat 1 bro. It’s in particular most def gonna be an ultra-easy cosmic cruise through April to September. Just sayin’. #thankSmelaterzzzzbro

6. I will have to get maself a new Mac @ some point. Ma current 1 can barely keep on keepin’ up with ma gangsta blog rappin’skillzzz. #macwanker

7. #7 WILL REMAIN DA BEST numba EVA. EVA EVA EVA EVA. (AND will still follow 6 and precede 8 … ??? !!!).

Alrite, on dat note ima gonna go back to ma ultra exciting life. It’s kinda extra-ultra-excitin’ rite now to be honest. So ya, stay tuned, always mo rappin’ comin’ atcha from this lil’ gangsta! Peace OUT!

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

How to fuck (or how I’ve been keepin’ busy lately…)

LFC-Gangsta

Yo yo yo yo – or should I say hoe hoe hoe hoe!?!?!? Tis’ indeed dat time of da season!

So ya, hope yo asses have been havin’ a very Merry fuckin’ X-mas so far – naturally mine’s been an incredible blast!!!! Been to a few hoods, seen some OG’s dat I love, and yep, just keepin’ it real basically.

In da midst of all da Chrissie craze I somehow managed to read up a bit ’bout how to be a good fucker… didn’t really think I needed it, just wanted to confirm what I already knew;

Yeyo, bein’ yo everyday OG ima naturally a very good fucker, now surprises there if I may say so maself. I always tend to sweat wine and scream ultra loud, (amongst other good-fucker-actions-and-traits), while at it… so there yo go: ellagangsta is a real good fucker.

If yo ass feels da need to do that double-check and read up on it too – go ahead, there’s mos def some killer advice in dis particular article!

Also, yo may have noticed da ultra gangsta beanie ima rockin’ in da gangsta pic of da day. Yep, ellagangsta is now officially an OG LFC-gangsta. If yo didn’t know, it’s da coolest gangsta 1 can be.

I’d like to take cred fo dis one maself… but big shoutouts gotsa go OUT. It was 2 of ma fav gangstas who gave it to me during our galore X-mas celebrations yesterday, thank yo asses very muchly Agge & Danne.

Gotta run to a  party now, ultra-exciting-life just keeps on happenin’ and happenin’ – don’t know how to stop it – and why would I wanna???? Stay tuned, 2015’s ellagangsta predictions are just around da corner…!!!!

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

How to climb the professional ladder (as opposed to walking under it, and therefore generating epic amounts of bad luck)

So, this week I had a development talk at work. My boss and I both agreed that I most certainly bring the gangsta to da office, that my sushi addiction is, albeit weird, part of my charm, and that it doesn’t affect the work environment in a negative way, as long as I don’t start smelling like fish. All in all it was a good talk and I developed a lot and also feel that I became a bigger person, almost obese. Could also be the fact that I ate a lot of chocolate that day, either way, I’m still me, I just come in a more developed, bigger version. Now I’m gonna go and watch ma fav footie team kick some Fulham ass, Fulham is a kinda funny name, cause “ful” in Swedish means “ugly”. So if you speak Swenglish, I guess Fulham equals to ugly ham. So yup, feeling quite confident we gonna get that ugly ham outta our faces today FTWWW! I have an ultra-exciting life. Stay tuned.

Image

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: