Tag Archives: ellagangsta blog

Life sucks and then you die (or how I joined a sitcom and never looked back in anger)

What up mofos??? It IS most certainly UP in ma hood at this very mo – most mo’s to be fair.

Or perhaps not so UP at this particular very mo. Have to admit it has indeed been a thoroughly painful eve fo this lil’ gangsta. Holy crap (YES. Let’s bring holy religion to the table at this latish hour. Or not.). NO RELIGION. I agree to agree with yo scheweet-ass-self on this one.
Yep. NO religion. It’s no fun. (unless it’s Bad Religion – neva get sick of that ultra-special-high-quality-shit. Epic fiesta-FUN material all day every day).

Kinda sucks how ma beloved boyzzz lost (quite fairly) tonite. NOT a fan of that, honestly speaking.

Ima ’bout this impressed…

Gah gah gah gah gah gah. GAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.

Gah gah gah gah gah gah.
GAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.

So let’s not speak honestly anymore, kinda boring shit. And not very gangsta. Let’s get excited, let’s have FUN. So what’s FUN? I reckon being a gangsta moviestar is fun.

And what do gangstas do when they wanna have fun and be gangsta-moviestars? And make some sorta statement ’bout da riddicko title-obsessed world we live in? Correct answer would be they create their own dreamish gangsta-fun-title-criticizin’ reality… (or they just smoke shit, but hey – why not do both?).

So ya, that’s what ellagangsta did (apart from referring to herself in 3rd person (which could be considered lame… but not if yo is ellaGANGSTA) ).

YO is indeed a very lucky lil’ wannabe-fun-ass-lovin’-criminal-gangsta… one could say it’s yo lucky day! You get to check this shit OUT.

Check it OUT.

Pretty please lemme know if yo didn’t laugh yo lazy ass OFF – and I’ll refer yo to some sorta lame ass helpline. Back to da honest track again; hope it won’t come to that. And if it does – DO ASK SOMEONE ELSE FO SOME SORTA ASSISTANCE.

Cannot save yo lame ass soul on this one. Not today. So fo everyone’s best well-beingish state of mind, let’s just hope yo enjoy this fine piece of A(ss)rt.

Gonna head back to ma ultra-exciting life now, pinky promise it won’t be too long till ima back. Stay tuned beloved mofos.

 

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

Are 2 vaginas 1 too many? (or how it’s a good idea to c(o)unt)

Yo yo yo, what up daaaawgggs? It’s all up here in ma hood – no surprises on dat one!

So it’s been a while since I was up in yo hood… I’d love to say the reason for ma absence is that I’ve been busy with ma 2 vaginas. That would, however, be an epic, phaaat lie… and yo know how I’d hate to lie to yo babay! Turns out ima one of the unfortunate few, who’s only blessed with 1. Perhaps this is why I’m not a YouTube star?

The question “why am I not a YouTube star” is actually a good one. And, in fact, a question I’ve been spendin’ lotsa time pondering about lately.

WHY AM I NOT A YOUTUBE STAR?

There are quite a few potential reasons for this, and as I was bending myself and ma single vagina over, around, and hell, even backwards, trying to figure it out, I ended up asking maself, “is it because I only have 1 vagina?” And then, I finally saw the light! Yeyo, it’s done. Dusted. Settled – Deal. Naturally ma lack of YouTube stardom is due to ma lack of multiple vaginas! Big DUH on dat one! Tis indeed nice to finally have an answer to this injustice…

… there are however a bunch of YouTube stars out there, some of, blessed with 2 vaginas and all. One of them is the lovely, 2-vaginal woman Cassandra Bankson. Cassandra suffers from the condition Uterus didelphys, which affects a massive 0.1-0.5% of women.

Compare these impressive numbers with men’s equivalent, Diphallia – outta all the men in da whole wide world, there are only 0.0000001% of ‘em blessed with 2 penises! (see what I did there, said women suffer and men are blessed – just testin’ to see if yo got yo feminism ON!). So ya, cunting numbers and all, this is clearly not a good example of the saying “too many dicks on the dancefloor”.

Anyhoo, go watch the vid, and listen to Cassandra’s story – EDUCATE YOSELF FFS – it’s not all fun and games to have 2 vaginas!

As for us, ma ultra-exciting life and I are happy with the one we’ve got, gotta go and make the most outta it now! Stay tuned mofos…!!!

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

Make sure yo wash yo hands before yo play with da pussy (or how Coolio sets da record straitUP)

GangstaMouth

Yo yo yo yooooo – what up bitches? All good in ma hood!

Ze questión of da day is – did yo wash yo hands today? Cause our good bro CooliO gotsa some words to say ’bout dat one. No surprises there as I like to say, although, on this one… yeyo, lil’ bit surprising to say da least.

As yo all know I’ve touched (ON) (I WISH) Coolio before. He’s a very fascinatin’ character to say da least. Ima sure all of yo remember ma biographic version of “Gangsta’s Paradise” a while back, quite epic, if I may say so maself.

Anyhoo, this amazo gangsta dude is naturally at it AGAIN – PORNHUB is da context. So ya, lemme keep it short. Or. Hmmm. I’m not a man of a few words. FACT times 2:

1. I’m not a man

2. I very rarely use, what one would refer to as “few words”

But ya, will try to not go on and on and on like some sorta shitty over-produced BS song.

Ima gonna begin with a quote, (I’ve noticed most of yos don’t click on ma links, and this article is priceless to say da least, so ya, fo all yo lazy ass gangstas outta there, I’ll try to give yos da best quotes here – BUT still SO worth it to read da whole thang ):

“If I want to see porn, I’ll put a mirror next to my bed,” said no one ever proudly. Apart from Coolio that is. This man is a MACHINE of self destruction. Quite successfully so.

Apparently da wordzzz on da streeetzzz was dat Mr Coolers himself had signed a deal with da Porn-to-da-hub (IMAGINE DAT DEAL!!!!!). But to quote da man himself, “Man, I ain’t trying to make no fuckin’ comeback off some porn.”

CLEARLY. (right there, to yo left, is yo chance to watch this machine and his new vid, apparently he “saw a pussy & a titty” – he’s on FIRE!!!)

Anyhoo, story goes on with him pretty much denying every-FUCKIN’-thang, and bein’ all coolers with himself, sayin’ shit like: “I’m as good as anybody out there lyrically and conceptually and can go toe to toe with the best of them throughout history.” (*debatable).

Anotha fav quote:
“I don’t know where that came from. If they pay me enough money, fuck yeah, I’ll do an album exclusively for Pornhub. At this point in my career, bro, I don’t have nothing to prove to nobody. I’ve proved everything. I just have to prove some shit to my banker. I have to prove to that motherfucker I can put more zeroes in my account”.

Meanwhile in da same fuckin’ interview he says:
I’m never doing a new album.

So ya, Coolio is clearly sendin’ out some mixed messages outta there… FTWWW I guess? Ma guess’s as good as anyone’s I guess (see what ima doin’ here – it makes NO sense what so eva).

But just when yo thought things could not possibly get mo fucked up, vague, and yep. Just go in some sorta wrongish direction… he gives us an explicit insite to how he’s gettin’ old, and his take on da role as a father of his 3 daughters:

“Make sure you wash your hands/Before youuuuuu/Play with the pussy/Play with the pussy/Play play play/Play with the pussy.”] “I have three daughters and I told them if a guy does not wash his hands before he touches you, then he don’t respect you. It’s funny, but it’s also the truth“.

Thank yo for sharin’ da truth with us Mr Coolio. And to all ya dudes outta there, who’s plannin’ a move on Mr Coolers daughters. Wash those hands. Now, during and after (just to be safe).

Gonna go spend some time with ma gangsta mouth now. Ultra excitin’ fo sho. How I roll. Peace OUT and stay tuned FFS.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Slut (or how all good things come to an end and I predict what’s UP in 2015)

Robust vaginal knitting

So ya, 2014 is slut, (obviously “slut” means end, finished, over, finito in Swedish… Duh), and 2015 has offici-to-da-ally begun. It’s, (no surprises there), already been a blast, involving 27 pieces of amazo sushi in MA MOUTH. So yep, 2015 is looking UP!

And here comes what yo been’ waiting for… Gangsta drum-roll-beat happenin’… ellagangsta’s predictions fo a year that is mos def not (a) slut:

(Unfort I got ma 1st predictión wrong, turns out ma NYE blast kept on keepin’ on a lil longer than humanly possible – sorry ’bout dat!)

1. I predict gangsta-ladies around da world are gonna start knitting through their vaginas. That’s rite! Who would not wanna spend an extensive amount of days (28 for example – or how ’bout all day everyday foreva eva eva eva???) knitting from wool that’s inserted in their vagina??? Let’s face it, if yo ass take a good hard look at a vulva, yo realise it’s just a bit of a body – there’s nothin’ that’s shockin’ or scary, or you know, nothing’s gonna run out and beat yo ass UP.

It’s fairly simple too, stick it UP and pull OUT. It’s a pretty robust area we’re talkin’ ’bout here, so ya, no wokkas on dat 1! If yo keep at it there will also be a couple of special days dat will add that X-tra color to it too (yo is most welcome fo dat tip!) Red is, after all, da color of love.

So ya, let’s spread (PUN INTENDED) some gangsta love and start wovin’ FTWWW. If yo is ready to start knitting through yo vulva, you can watch this clip fo some more instructions and inspiration!

That it’s taken us to 2015 to figure this one out is quite surprising really.

2. Always gotta do a PL prediction, was in fact the only one I got rite last year… not happy bout’ dat one, and will mos def be very happy if ima wrong bout dis one… but yep. Reckon’ groco Chelski will win da Premier League dis year. UGH.

3. Hopful Brewing will keep on keepin’ on makin’ amazo beerios dat I (and everyone else lucky enough to get da honour to try it) love. Apart from perfectin’ ma fav beer Sexytipsy even mo (is DAT EVEN POSSIBLE me wonders???), they’ll also make da world a much better place when they release their soon-to-be-success-and-awesomeness-in-general-deluxe latest additión ellagangsta beer. It’s gonna be some fruitful and nutty flavas in dat one!

4. The gyms will be empty come Feb. #factoflifepresented

5. As fo astro predictions, I can tell yo white ass rite now – all yo dreams will come through in 2015!!! Yep, ima not a deliverererrrer of da bad newzzz in 2015. Epic fiesta and congrats on dat 1 bro. It’s in particular most def gonna be an ultra-easy cosmic cruise through April to September. Just sayin’. #thankSmelaterzzzzbro

6. I will have to get maself a new Mac @ some point. Ma current 1 can barely keep on keepin’ up with ma gangsta blog rappin’skillzzz. #macwanker

7. #7 WILL REMAIN DA BEST numba EVA. EVA EVA EVA EVA. (AND will still follow 6 and precede 8 … ??? !!!).

Alrite, on dat note ima gonna go back to ma ultra exciting life. It’s kinda extra-ultra-excitin’ rite now to be honest. So ya, stay tuned, always mo rappin’ comin’ atcha from this lil’ gangsta! Peace OUT!

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

How to fuck (or how I’ve been keepin’ busy lately…)

LFC-Gangsta

Yo yo yo yo – or should I say hoe hoe hoe hoe!?!?!? Tis’ indeed dat time of da season!

So ya, hope yo asses have been havin’ a very Merry fuckin’ X-mas so far – naturally mine’s been an incredible blast!!!! Been to a few hoods, seen some OG’s dat I love, and yep, just keepin’ it real basically.

In da midst of all da Chrissie craze I somehow managed to read up a bit ’bout how to be a good fucker… didn’t really think I needed it, just wanted to confirm what I already knew;

Yeyo, bein’ yo everyday OG ima naturally a very good fucker, now surprises there if I may say so maself. I always tend to sweat wine and scream ultra loud, (amongst other good-fucker-actions-and-traits), while at it… so there yo go: ellagangsta is a real good fucker.

If yo ass feels da need to do that double-check and read up on it too – go ahead, there’s mos def some killer advice in dis particular article!

Also, yo may have noticed da ultra gangsta beanie ima rockin’ in da gangsta pic of da day. Yep, ellagangsta is now officially an OG LFC-gangsta. If yo didn’t know, it’s da coolest gangsta 1 can be.

I’d like to take cred fo dis one maself… but big shoutouts gotsa go OUT. It was 2 of ma fav gangstas who gave it to me during our galore X-mas celebrations yesterday, thank yo asses very muchly Agge & Danne.

Gotta run to a  party now, ultra-exciting-life just keeps on happenin’ and happenin’ – don’t know how to stop it – and why would I wanna???? Stay tuned, 2015’s ellagangsta predictions are just around da corner…!!!!

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Smokin’ some shit in a jacuzzi ain’t so bad (or how a certain bro from anotha ho is rockin’ ma hood)

photo (1)

Yo yo yo yooooooo, what up dawgzzz? It’s pretty up here I must admit, but no fuckin’ surprises there! Just got home from a lil’ trip around ma hood – one of ma bros from anotha ho just moved in, and not any old bro for dat matta.

Not sure I’ve mentioned him before, but he’s pretty damn spesh – we even shared the same breast milk back in da day. And I can tell yo ass this much, that sorta bond is unfuckingbreakable! Anyways, we’re neighbors now, big hood love on dat one. Wörd. And it gets even better, his new joint’s gotta jacuzzi. Felt pretty good to chill there, smoke some shit, talk some shit, and drink some milk fo old times’ sake.

Also, do yo ass an epic fava, and check out ma homie Hadi Adel. Hadz just released some ultra sweet trip hop sounds, currently on repeat in ma lil’ gangsta ears. So ya, don’t be a fooooool – check it OUT one time (will mos def lead to several times of outcheckin’ – just how good it is). Link’s in the image, OR HERE, just click on it and press PLAY (you’re welcome).

Hadio is from Mtl, and incidentally there’s some other creative shit happenin’ in town, apart from Hadio’s amazo sounds… Apparently Quebec has a porn-acting academy for men – some serious actin’ goin’ ON in there ND. Feel free to read ’bout it HERE (and try not to receive the wrong sorta awards in yo hood Hadz 😉 ).

Anyways, fo me ultra excitin’ life keep’s on rollin’ rollin’ rollin’ as per usual. Peace OUT and fo da love of baby cheezes – stay tuned.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Return of da ellaG (or how I will never smoke weed through ma pxxxy)

cooooooool yo.

cool yo.

Soooooooooooo, what up peeps? It’s mos def been a bit of what some would call a while. But that’s no wokkas. I can, and will, explain it all. What happened was, it got massively ultra-dark here in ma hood, and I did this test on FB, “what animal are you?”. Turned out I wazza bear. Shortly after that I went straight into hibernation. Natural thang to do when yo is a bear, duhhhh. Kinda felt good, since I don’t sleep all that much for some, or most, of da time.

Either way, woke up at some point, to: “Welcome to the year of the whores. People around the globe celebrate.

I don’t think I need to explain ma lil’ gangsta ass much, when I admit I went right, and straight back into hibernation. Felt pretty good. Let’s face it peeps, ima no whore, ima muttafucking gangsta bear. Word.

Anyhoo, at some point I did wake up again, it was a very strange smell, still, to this day, I cannot say if it was good or bad. Deffo some good vibes to it, so ya, this smell, and the way it made me feel… Strange combo, but hey, kinda got me goin’, to say the least.

Then life went on, as ya’ll know it’s A supa-ultra-exciting-times-life fo this lil’ gangsta allova time. so ya. For a bit I guess I forgot who I was until…. wait for it… I heard ma song! Yeyo, true story, woke up somewhere, somehow… and heard this – ellagangstaisdamothafuckengaloregangstaofalltimes – So, consider yoself to be a lil’ bit in luck to experience the return of this G.

As yo can see, ima lookin’ mo G than eva… lotsa filters to explore ma gangstaness – ma personal favs are the “food”one, and also the “pirate”one… cray cray pirates FTW me reckons. If yo ass guesses right on which those 2’s are, you will get to smoke some serious shit with me (not like the “this smell” link, that shit is nAstay).

Anyhoo, sharing is caring, and I care a lot boutcha’ll, so ima back with a vengeance, or blog, or whatevz, (same shit, difoo wööörd), to share ma shit whithca all, ultra exciting life as always. Do ya self a favour, and STAY TUNED. (NO MO HIBERNATION BS FTWWW. wööööörd on dat one.)

 

 

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

My naprapath is ultra-supa-hot (or how ima da one receiving a good rub fo once)

Image

So, ya, ma shoulder’s been really sore of late. So I had to go to see ma naprapath today. To say he is fairly good lookin’ would be the understatement of da century. And he also has the bestest, strongest hands I’ve ever seen (or felt on ma body for that matter). The fact that I have to pay, for him to touch me, does not bother me one bit. I’m good for the money. And he is. Good.

And he is also the poster boi – literally – for the naprapath center. Only saw the pics when I got there today. And I was like, “Woah”, and then, when realizing, there on the poster, lookin’ ultra-fresh as per usual, was the man I pay to touch ma body, I was like “WOAH”.

Felt extra good today I must say. And for the record, this is probs one of the few times I’m not writing anything even remotely close to fiction in ma blog. In fact, it’s all 100% fucktual (pun intended FTWWW).

Ultra-exciting life for me today. Stay tuned.

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Ma girl crush/Oranges + men = 1 (or how ima sharing the secret to eternal youth with ya’ll)

ellagangstaextensions

ellagangstaextensions

So, still cold in ma hood it appears – no surprises there. Harsh reality galore. Luckily enough I’ve got a new crush to keep me warm these days…. Her name is Yvonne and she is pretty and lovely and inspiring and just… hmmm, what’s the word I’m lookin’ fo here?

A M A Z I N G.

Kinda funny story actually, I first met her in da elevator at work, and she’s always lookin’ so fresh, so clean (as ma bros in Outkast would word it), and she is always supa-lovely and happy. So yep, become one of ma lil’ highlights of ma days, to see- and interact with this broad in da elevators… so naturally a crush developed. Images of her constantly Flickers in ma head-kinda-thang. Which is un ultra-nice aspect of ma ultra-exciting life. Anyhoo, was tellin’ ma boss-crush, (which happens to be ma boss, who I still have no chance in hell with… but hey, still coolio to have two crushes in the one building I spend most of ma days in FTWWW), about this amazing woman. I described both her-, and ma feelings towards her, and he goes, “C’MON lil’ gangsta – don’t you know who that is?” I responded, a bit perplexed, I must add, “NO.” I mean, sure she looked familiar in some ways, but just thought it’s cause she’s so lovely and beautiful and I felt as if we had some sort of connection, and that is why da good ol’ familiar feeling came creepin’ on unda ma wanna-be-in-da-sun-all-da-time-and-therefore-black-skin… Anyhoo, turns out she is Miss fucking Universe…!!!! In Sweden-town we only ever had three Miss Universes:

1955 – Hillevi Rombin

1966 – Margareta Arvidsson

1984 – Yvonne Ryding

So guess who ma Misses U is? Lucky #3 muttafukkas! And I belive there is an explanation to her ultra-supa-extraordinare-freshness – the secret to eternal youth perhaps perhaps – she now works with her own skincare line. What can I say, CLEARLY IT WORKS.

Apart from crushing ma crushes, I’ve also been crushin’ fruit in ma kitchen of late. Tonite when I got home I went on a mission to make massive amounts of smoothies, involving a bunch of fruit (duh). Basically lotsa celery, apples, kiwis etc., (won’t go into too much detail as this is no fucking food-blog – gangsta remember…!), but I must mention that it involved nothing less than 7 blood oranges and 7 regular oranges. I do believe the regular oranges were Spanish, not sure bout the origin of da blood ones.

To think of it, I kinda treat, and think of oranges the very same way I treat, and think of men. Don’t care much bout the origin – if they taste good I’m happy to put ‘em in ma mouth. Sometimes they may look a bit off… and then I usually politely refuse… or I still go for it, but then end up in an awkward spitting-out-situation, which is not healthy for anyone’s self-confidence, neither orange, nor man… also makes me feel a bit sicklish, so in general that is not something I’d recommend to maself, or anyone else for that matter. But ya, origin is neva an issue when it comes to me. To think of it, oranges and men do have lotsa things in common:

For one, there is the issue of seed(s), and there is also the fact that both oranges and men tend to smell very good, amongst a wide range of other shared attributes and qualities. Basically, I like oranges and men a lot, for many different, mutual reasons.

But alrite alrite, bit of a classic off-the-topic-scenario happening here… As you were: Fruit. So yeah, turns out I left my smoothie bottles, I need for ma smoothie machine, at work, so now ima stuck in a serious fruit-salad-gone-wrong-massacre in ma lil’ kitchen, (this funnily enough makes me think of one of ma ex hubbies, who strangely enough isn’t *Moroccan. We used to call him Fruity. Hens the ex-factor when it comes to him in particular). (*Even though I tend to not focus on origin of ma men and/or oranges, most of ma ex-hubbies are Moroccan, since I happened to marry a bunch of ‘em in less than 24 hours… blogged bout that one –  do yo homework homie).

But yes, plenty’o fruit in ma kitchen tonite, deffo some sorta party goin’ on. I should probs not be rude, and instead go on and join it, while it’s still fresh (if ima lucky it’ll be as fresh as ma Miss U).

For those of yos who’re into ellagangstaextensions, there’s a good one today, I will no doubt fall asleep pondering bout how I’d possibly be able to reveal all ma insecurities on ma tiny amounts of skin – not so much space, and epic amounts of inc is ,indeed, a challenge I must face one of these days.

Ultra-exciting life much? da peeps ask me from time to time. “Hellz yeah, ultra-exciting galore“, is ma humble response. Stay tuned.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

From da Gangsta’s Paradise to Big Bro to Celebrity Cook-Off (or how Coolio walked through da valley of da shadow of death)

ellagangstaextensions

ellagangstaextensions

So ya, it’s pretty fucking dark in da Swedo hood right ‘bout now. Sure we finally got some snow, but it’s still dark as hell most of da time, which kinda suits a gangsta in some ways. But in some ways it’s just not very much gangsta at all. So instead of discussing my climate disorder issues, I wanna talk bout anotha gangsta, who mos def has been going through some dark shit too. Da question of da mo is, what da hell happened to Coolio…. ? Ima sure ya’ll been pondering bout this one from time to time…lucky you, you got ellagangsta to tell it how it is – to yo FACE!

So after walking through da valley of da shadow of death, while takin’ a good ol’ look at his life, and realizing there was not much left, probs cause he’d been blastin’ and laughin’ so long, that even his mama thought his mind was gone, he decided it was time to make some changes. While makin’ these changes, he naturally did not cross one single man, or woman, who did not deserve it. No surprises there.

But ya, he was sick’n tired of being treated like a punk – clearly that treatment was not called for. So what did Mr CoolYo do? Yup, this G, da lil’ homies wanted to be like, decided to make an ultra-smart career move, (FYI, this is after he was dropped by Tommy Boy Records, and also managed to tattoo a misspelling on his precious skin), he basically got on his knees in da nite, while sayin’ prayers to da street lights. His prayers was answered and he got to be one of da house-homies on Celebrity Big Bro. This is obviously HUGE. And it was a great success, which resulted in him appearing on anotha Big Bro event, this time it was da ULTIMATE Big Bro.

However, this educated fool with money on his mind, could clearly not live a normal life, since he was raised by da strip, and ended up bein’ removed from da show, due to… WAIT FOR IT… Unacceptable behaviour towards peeps who just weren’t gangsta enough. The way things were goin’ at this late stage… I don’t know. But CoolYo knew, he had to be down with da hood team, and decided it was bout time to find out what was really goin’ on in da kitchen. He did not know what was cookin’, so he took matters into his own hands, and decided it was time to… WAIT FOR IT… cook! Yeyo, this G was no fool, next destination was a Celebrity Cook-Off. Turned out to be a great success, where he ended up bein’ the runner up, raising ten thousand dollars for charity. His menu featured a variety of dishes, mainly consisting of different versions of fried chicken. Some of them were perhaps a bit debatable, but regardless, great success.

Once finished with his fried chicken extravaganza, he still felt incomplete. It was like no one understood-, or could reach him. He felt he was outta luck and everyone was a fool.

Clearly no fool, as previously mentioned, he made the wise decision to appear on the renowned and respected show Wife Swap. Unfortunately his GF left him once the show was recorded… but hey, you win some, you lose some, right? Ain’t no thang for Mr CoolYO. After all, this G has achieved a lot, including producing 6 mini G’s from four diffo intercourse-ships, successfully bullriding a woman (is it just me, or WTF does that even mean???), punching a GF in da face & being charged for it, and appearing the epic show Sabrina the Teenage Witch.

Woah, I feel so much better right now. Who cares ‘bout da darkness…? Things could clearly be worse. Lovin’ ma ultra-exciting life. Stay tuned.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: