Tag Archives: Copenhagen

NO undies (or how I got inspired by Luis Suarez and finally scored)

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So, today Ima headin back to Danish land fo some Brossie Chrissie-good-times. Therefore I had to, yet again, get dat dirrrrttttay laundry clean one time. Fuck, even I’m gettin a bit bored with that one now…. So in true ellagangsta fashion I decided to spice it up one time, and this is what happened:

– Got home and took ma undies off

– Looked fo some good lookin’ meat in ma laundry room

– Spotted the one with da biggest … smile … and said “how u doin, Ima wearing NO undies”…

Turns out he was doin’ fine and da rest is history. So yep, I’m extra lucky today. If yo is feelin’ yo wanna score some fresh meat too, please follow above steps accordingly.

Now, more important matters at hand, it turns out ma blog has kinda sophisticated stats given to me, when I care to look at ’em. From these lil’ insights in how you read ma blog, there is one thing that particularly been bothering me of late. Let me explain, or rather ask yo in a perfectly fine gangsta-fashion; Why the fuck don’t you do yourself a favour and click on da amazing, groundbreaking, worth-yo-while, and always qualitative ellagangstaextensions???

Here is a lil’ sample of today’s ellagangstaextension…:

So apparently monster porn is kinda huge deal for all da sexually deprived fuckers out there. I don’t really get it, but big-selling titles such as “Bigfoot Did Me From Behinda and I Liked It“, “Alien Seed“, “The Horny Leprechaun“, “Cuckwolfed” and “At the Mercy of the Boar God” kinda speak for themselves. However, there is a twist to these bestiality-loving writers and their relationship with every self-publishers’ partner in crime, that partner being Amazon. You should mos def read this article, here’s a lil’ quote from one of the animal-sex writers, the rest? Just read it!

“It’s all a facade, of course. My plots are depraved. They’re definitely not for kids or grandmothers. But I put it in a glossy package, so it doesn’t offend anybody who’s just searching through Amazon.”

Ultra-exciting life galore galore galore. And you KNOW IT! Stay tuned.

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Those three words (or let me tell ya how I really feel)

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So, went to Copenhagen this weekend, was a blast, deffo no surprises there. Could tell ya some stuff bout da trip, but probs not so much fun for ya’ll, cause more of an epic bonding experienco with da peeps I spend most of ma time with these days, (one thang but, we did not have da Johnny Cash mo we all wished fo. There simply was not enough cake. Sigh/ugh/semi-fail).

Instead I wanna talk bout those 3 words. Those 3 words that have been very defining aspects of ma life – throughout ma life. I also wanna talk bout the extreme buying/consuming at this time of da year. Hmmmm, which one comes first? Chicken or da egg? That’s one I’ll leave for way laters (or neva). But ya, 3 words first,,, then consuming abuse galore (kinda relates to one of ma 3 words in a wicked way, so if yo get me, you’ll get dat one, and then it’ll be so much betta… and no wokkas, clearly I’ll spell it outta ya, in case yo didn’t get it). Anyhoo, here we go (*EXPLICIT MATERIAL. Don’t read this, if yo is gonna go all anal up ma ass ’bout it – consider yoself warned):

DYSPRAXIA: I’ve always been good with organizing shit. Really good actually. However, when it comes to ma physical movements. Perhaps not da best. This could be caused by a number of diffo reasons. And it was nice, when someone, at some point, diagnosed me with this condition, as opposed to calling me clumsy. Yep, after this weekend, I do not only carry a blue, left butt-cheek, I also dropped a burger on da ground (while sober, c’mon), and walked into several cars… to mention a few incidents. I guess, the lack of normal accuracy, is quite accurate when it comes to me. And it’s been like dat… hmmm, what’s da word for it, find maself quoting Bon Jovi here… “Always“.

AMBIVALENT: So ya, mos def no surprises with this one. I have mixed feelings all da time. About a lotta shit. Think I was bout 13, the first time someone said I was suffering from this particular quality-thang. Yeyo, ma footie coach mos deffo had a good point with this one. I won’t bore yo ass with da deets. (Only cause ima massively relating to sore-ass-issues right now).

Lalochezia – The emotional relief gained from using abusive or profane language. Need I say more. For fucks sake. (And yup. Perhaps the reason I chose to go on about 3 words, was to bring this very last one up….).

So YES, now ima gonna take advantage of da last of ma 3 words and say this. WTF is wrong with you peeps. Stop buying stupid shit for da sake of doin’ it. SERIOUSLY. Do something betta with it. Even if it’s still something fo yoself. Chrissie could be a nice time, when we care about each other, quality time etc. Not highlighting one of da most fucked up aspects of the world we created and live in. We got so much shit. It’s fucking sick. Groce to da O. Just go visit yo friends instead of sending ’em shit. Or sponsor something worthwhile for someone, instead of buying them random fucking shit THEY REALLY REALLY REALLY DON’T NEED. I’m not gonna try to make examples of what is right for you, but if you think about it, there is so many betta things you could do for yoself, the peeps yo love – and the rest of the fucking universe. It is nice to give, best feelin’ in da world…. but it does not have to be material stuff that, if you think ’bout it you, mos def, could do very well without.

Ok, epic rant over, or should I say, no more lalochezia (for tonite).

Have amazing dreams ’bout how yo is gonna spend da rest of yo life (and what you’ll SPEND on). It’s all relative, and it’s all happenin’ right bout NOW, (YEP, NO MATTA WHAT DA PEEPS SAY, IT MOS DEF WON’T LAST FOREVA). (And if yo don’t believe dat, check out tonite’s ellagangstaextension… clearly it happens even to da best… !).

Me, Ima starting some meditatin’ biz in Jan, and also involving maself in some greater causes.… naturally I’ll still enjoy all ma fav denim shirts and sushi items in ma mouth on a regular basis – but hey, we all gotta start somewhere. Right?

Ultra-exciting life, in combo with da emo relief I gained from using abuso & somewhat profo lingo, just made me ultra-tired. Sweet dreams muttafukkas, STAY TUNED.

*and yes. Thought it was time to write da ellagangstablog in a diffo time-zone format for once, hope you can appreciate dat one.

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Good girls go to heaven (Ima goin’ to Copenhagen)

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So, lots goin’ on as per usual. Today I mixed biz with pleasure when I entertained a gangsta client, while putting raw fish items in ma mouth, felt good. More pleasure than biz I must admit.

Tomorrow I wanna go to Copenhagen, doesn’t necessarily make me a bad girl, but yep, that’s what I’m doin. Gonna party it up bt, lookin’ forward to acting like a proper gangsta in Kristiania with ma homies. We’re gonna be in HIGH spirits nd.

Bit of an outrage in good’ol Aussie town too. Pretty scary what’s been happenin’ there of late… Latest is High Court throws out ACT’s same-sex marriage laws!!

Yep. Pretty fucked. One of ma mates asked a more than semi-valid question today, when he said “what happens if one of the people in the couple have a sex change”? I rest ma case. Who gives a fuck.? REALLY? WELL, CLEARLY THE high COURT DOES. FUCKED. UP. Gonna move on from this one now… toooo disturbing.

What about tonite you may wonder? I don’t blame you. Can’t imagine what it’d be like not to be me. Fucking boring I presume… So ya, thank fuck I don’t have to worry bout that one. Tonite I raced home AW and supa-quickly packed for the ultra-early trip tomoz. Then I headed out to a party in anotha hood, lotsa homies, music, some coolio homie-rappers and massive illegal shit in general. Some good times fo sho. And now Ima goin’ to bed with a homie who insists on bein’ mentioned in ma blog. Anotha broe, from anotha hoe, basically. Need to get into that bed right bout now.

Also, got a new nick-name in ma office hood;PPC HOE. Kinda like it cause it makes me sound like a real PRO. Word on that one mf’s. Ultra exciting life keeps on rollin’. Stay tuned.

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