Tag Archives: bromance

Return of da ellaG (or how I will never smoke weed through ma pxxxy)

cooooooool yo.

cool yo.

Soooooooooooo, what up peeps? It’s mos def been a bit of what some would call a while. But that’s no wokkas. I can, and will, explain it all. What happened was, it got massively ultra-dark here in ma hood, and I did this test on FB, “what animal are you?”. Turned out I wazza bear. Shortly after that I went straight into hibernation. Natural thang to do when yo is a bear, duhhhh. Kinda felt good, since I don’t sleep all that much for some, or most, of da time.

Either way, woke up at some point, to: “Welcome to the year of the whores. People around the globe celebrate.

I don’t think I need to explain ma lil’ gangsta ass much, when I admit I went right, and straight back into hibernation. Felt pretty good. Let’s face it peeps, ima no whore, ima muttafucking gangsta bear. Word.

Anyhoo, at some point I did wake up again, it was a very strange smell, still, to this day, I cannot say if it was good or bad. Deffo some good vibes to it, so ya, this smell, and the way it made me feel… Strange combo, but hey, kinda got me goin’, to say the least.

Then life went on, as ya’ll know it’s A supa-ultra-exciting-times-life fo this lil’ gangsta allova time. so ya. For a bit I guess I forgot who I was until…. wait for it… I heard ma song! Yeyo, true story, woke up somewhere, somehow… and heard this – ellagangstaisdamothafuckengaloregangstaofalltimes – So, consider yoself to be a lil’ bit in luck to experience the return of this G.

As yo can see, ima lookin’ mo G than eva… lotsa filters to explore ma gangstaness – ma personal favs are the “food”one, and also the “pirate”one… cray cray pirates FTW me reckons. If yo ass guesses right on which those 2’s are, you will get to smoke some serious shit with me (not like the “this smell” link, that shit is nAstay).

Anyhoo, sharing is caring, and I care a lot boutcha’ll, so ima back with a vengeance, or blog, or whatevz, (same shit, difoo wööörd), to share ma shit whithca all, ultra exciting life as always. Do ya self a favour, and STAY TUNED. (NO MO HIBERNATION BS FTWWW. wööööörd on dat one.)

 

 

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THE SPIDER THAT ALMOST KILLED MY FATHER ALSO ALMOST KILLED AN EXPENSIVE HORSE (OR HOW BLACK CAVIARS’ BRO IS FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE)

THE SPIDER THAT ALMOST KILLED MY FATHER ALSO ALMOST KILLED AN EXPENSIVE HORSE (OR HOW BLACK CAVIARS’ BRO IS FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE)

So about 5 years ago ma beloved master of the universe father was in good ol’ Aussie town and got bitten by a white tail spider. However, he somehow did not realize this till he got to Bangers (AKA Bangkok), and he only survived due to the strong meds he received back in the very north of Sweden (don’t ask me how he travelled around half the world dying, that’s just how he rolls basically). Anyhoo, there’s right now an outrage in Australia, cause Black Caviar’s bro (Black Caviar is a 5 million dollar race horse, and Black Caviar’s bro, Jimmy, is a 2-year old, money-making-factory-in-da-making) has been bitten by one of these nasty-ass spiders too! And he’s barely making it. HOLD UP! The latest news just came in, and I quote: “Jimmy developed major complications during treatment. Prognosis 50/50 but he is receiving great care, including overseas consultants”.
In ma world this tragic scenario can only result in two outcomes:
Scenario 1: Jimmy dies, and therefore ma dad is stronger than a horse (AN EXPENSIVE HORSE TOO!!!)
Scenario 2: Jimmy survives, but ma dad’s still stronger, due to the fact he did not seek help from overseas consultants (semi-contradicting maself here, since he got bitten in Oz, and received meds in the most northern parts of Sweden, but hey – he still travelled the world dying, AND it’s my blog!), and he is therefore stronger than a horse (AN EXPENSIVE HORSE STILL!!!)
So apart from having a father, in fact proven by science to be stronger than a horse, I can also declare that I do indeed spend too much time in elevators (will go more into details on that one at a later stage – bet you can’t wait to hear what I get up to in elevators), and that I’m, in fact, having some blood-bro love in ma life tonight. One of ma actual brothas from the SAME motha is visiting (AKA a blood-bro). And we are, quite naturally, havin’ a BLAST (just look at the gangsta/beiber/terrorist photo). My life is almost more ultra-exciting than eva. Stay tuned.
Oh, and here’s the link if yo wanna read more bout Black Caviar’s blood-bro.http://www.theage.com.au/sport/horseracing/black-caviars-5m-halfbrother-fighting-for-life-20131114-2xhpk.html

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The Master of the Universe loves my blog! (Or 7 facts about Father’s Day)

So. I have a dad. And he is a man. He has many qualities I admire. Multiple would be an understatement. But the one I admire the most, is his ability to take the absolute piss outta himself. There are many examples, stories etc. Not sure which one I like the mostest. And guess this is the most boring blog post ever, cause I’m not even gonna try and make it interesting by choosing a story to tell you. I’m just gonna say that I love my dad, he’s awesome, and I hope that one day I’ll be lucky enough to find someone who’ll be that sort of  a dad to ma kids. Word. Yup. I still manage to keep up an ultra-exciting life. You should most deffo stay tuned, (tomoz post will be provocative galore, to make up for today’s emotional weakish one).

However, when I do something, I tend to do it properly… so if this is a boring blog post – let’s make it fucking ultra-boring!

Ladies and gents, I present to you; 7 “interesting” facts about Fathers’ Day (the only thing I like in below lameness, is the fact that the name “Dodd” appears… twice …. someone, almost as close to me as ma father, used to be called that.)

Soundtrack to these facts: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9V0tdWSYLE (a good soundtrack goes a looooong way me reckons)

1. Date first Fathers’ Day eva? Done – June 17, 1910

2. A person named Sonora DODD apparently recognized it takes two to tango… i.e., if there’s a mother’s day, perhaps the dicks should get the equivalent treatment once a year (Sonora DODD and her 5 siblings were raised by their father, after their mother died while giving birth – HEAVY. Dates’ naturally her father’s b’day – no surprises there)

3. Some men initially frowned upon this event, as flowers and gifts wasn’t looked upon as the manly thing to receive (or even give a fuck about for that matter).. however, they soon realized this was the festive season for BJ’s, steaks and sexual intercourse action in general – and they where all IN (quite literally too, I must add)

4. At some point, during the 20-30’s, peeps wanted to ban both M- and F-day, opting for something as original as “Parents’ Day”. For very obvious reasons, this shit did not go DOWN

5. Father’s day is NOT, I repeat NOT, a universal, or global date, by any means (I mean, how many fathers are being celebrated in OZ today? Sweden is da place to be right now, if you’re a dad, that is)

6. Keeping to the fatherly, and also very manly theme of Fathers’ Day, the official flower (!?!?!? A FUCKING FLOWER??? Could it at least be a beer?) is a rose. The colour being, (please tell me one dude who gives a fuck about a colour of a rose – without having any incentives when it comes to the other flower that rose will open up to him…. C’MON!), red for alive and white for dead (fathers that is)

7. The man (the myth, the legend – perhaps a fellow father?) who did the voice of Papa Smurf, also did the voices for Scooby-Doo, Ranger Smith on Yogi Bear and Astro and Rudi on the Jetsons – SCORE! His name? Why would I care, he’s not my dad.

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY PAPPA – GRATTIS PÅ FARS DAG VILDHUSSEN!

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