Mother Mary and her divine intervention adventures (or how it’s very gangsta to mix glögg and Irish Coffee galore)

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So, having a blast at ma Danish Brossie X-mas galoreness. Lotsa amazing food & drinks together with ma fav Danish family. To use a bit of a christmassy expression, I’d like to say Ima feelin’ quite blessed. Hope ya’ll equally blessed at this very muchly festive season time of da year. As per usual I have something I’d like to raise some awareness about, ‘tis time of da year it’s quite a holy topic. YES. It’s not yo mother I’d like to talk about at this specific time of da mo, and it’s not mother T either. To put it simply, I wanna talk to yo ass bout Jesus’ mum. Yup. Mother Mary is of da essence right ‘bout now!

Apparently this woman, (Jesus’ mum, Mother of God, Saint Mary, Blessed Virgin Mary, JM (Jesus Mum duh), the holy Mother, the Mum of all Kings, the Mother of da Virgins, MG (Motha Gangsta AKA Motha Galore)… you get ma drift. As we say in Sweden town “Kärt barn har många namn” – which means a kid who’s popular/loved/liked carries lotsa names. Now, I’m aware that in this instance, Virgo Mary is referred to as a mum, not a child. But it’s important to remember that every mother was once a child. And that, my dear, is a FACT.

Have to start this off with a blast from da past. When ma bestie and I was 14, we were introduced to da idea of non-intercoursenal preggo stuff through a book. In this particular book a woman got preganant from eating a lingonberry. Ma bestie and I found this hilare, and laughed, even more than usual I must admit, and then laughed some more. Our whole class was outraged and left a, not so secret letter, in ma locker. Saying they’re outraged how immature we were etc. This, naturally, made us laugh some more. Don’t think ma tummy has ever been as tight as it was this week. I was FIT. Anyhoo, this mystery of divine interventions and virgin pregnancies is not only massive amounts of BS, but also, (as massive amounts of BS tends to be), quite interesting.

Recently read an article on da American Marys’ side of da whole thing. (YES, still pushing fo yo lazy ass to click on da ellagangstaextensions). Anyways, Mary (mother of Jesus) was obviously experiencing some miraculous conceivement, very much thanks to da power of da holey spirit. Big up to dat one I say. And, as it turns out, there are some Marys out there still today, (clearly no sperm in THOSE fringes, for some very obvious reasons… or?). Either way, turns out ONE in every TWOHUNDRED young American women have had their own lil’ divine interventions. Does this mean they all gave birth to a new Jesus me wonders? Very good, and hard to answer, question indeed, if I may say so maself. Perhaps it’ll be ma NY-resso to ponder about, and eventually hope to find an answer to it. Other questions this naturally calls for are:

–       Do we need another Jesus?

–       Can there be too many Jesuses?

–       Did Jesus exist?

–       Does Jesus exist?

–       How many Jesuses are there really?

–       What does Baby-Cheezes got to do with it?

–       What sort of BS/miracle is a virgin pregnancy really – is it, perhaps, the definition of BS? Or a true, Cheezes miracle?

–      And last, but very much not least, am I Jesus? And if so, is Virgin Motha Mary really a man – who can only get preggo divine interventio style due to his genetical challenges when it comes to carrying a Jesus-foetus?

So many questions, so lil’ time… gotta go back and play some more board games now. Ultra-exciting life is mos def virgo preggo. Party. Stay tuned.

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