Consume me! (or what I’d neva put ma baby in)

So, I think it’s clear to all that I in fact don’t have a baby. There are of course multiple reasons for my sans baby situation… For one, the hood is not ideal for a baby, even though some of the best gangstas was naturally once babys in da hood. No disrespect brothas. But as a motha of a possible gangsta-baby in da hood, I would mos def worry myself sick about ma lil’ boi most of da time … even more so than normal NON-gangsta-hood-mothas do, (YES, I’m very prone to believe I’d give birth to a dude, there are pretty much only dudes in ma fam, apart from the obvious two exceptions, I only have bros, my dad only have bros etc).

Worrying about me worrying about my potential gangsta-baby is a bit selfish, dontcha reckon? No surprises there I say… parenting can indeed be a somewhat selfish occupation when it comes to certain parenting parents.

Which brings me to what I really wanted to monologue on about today (while avoiding the other reasons for my sans baby situation, not that I’m complaining, quite the opposite to be honest). Anyhoo, let’s get on with it shall we?

Christmas starts with a big C, and so does another word, which I won’t mention in this particular blog… and so does another very inappropriate word; that word being CON-FUCKING-SUMING! The first and third words go hand in hand. Big Time. And yesterday I was shown this horrible video that pretty much sums up what our fucked up, consuming obsessed western world society has come to… LCD dashboard & mobile phone charger included. Just watch it. I rest my case. (Of course you’d pay to be on yo phone instead of in you baby’s face… I mean, why have a kid if you’d have to give it some actual attention – NO PHONES INVOLVED – absolute ridicule). Not to mention the fact, that the price tag of this transformers device would feed a small African village. Merry fucking Christmas peeps!

Oh, and on a diffo note I bought I huge cucumber today (you can see how big it is in relation to my pillow – it’s massive). Now I’m going to bed. I have an ultra-exciting life as always. Stay tuned.

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